The Big Picture

I used to say I want to die before I get old.

And here I am, walking through the desert, bullet in my belly, dragging myself to... anything.

Shows what I knew then, huh?

To be fair, when I said that I didn't have Her. She didn't exist in my world yet. And She definitely changed everything.

I look down at my hand, holding the blood in me. It's not doing a great job. Thanks a lot hand. Some good you are. I look back, there's a pretty definite trail of drops everywhere I've been.

At least I can tell I'm not walking in circles. Small victories.

I drop to my knees, exhaustion fighting to take control. The world is sand and heat and pain. I can see a cow skull in the distance. Where's the rest of the cow?

I dig my fingers into the wound, and the piercing pain brings me back into focus.

I still have to stand up. Five more minutes.

If I die out here, what does that matter, really... in the big picture. Does it really change anything?

I stare at the cow skull. Maybe my body will wind up with the cow's. Maybe our skulls will be buddies. Skullbuddies.

My free hand digs around in my pocket, and I pull out my wallet. Inside is a picture of Her. I've seen it a thousand, a million times. But I let it pierce into my head. Let it wedge itself in my mind like never before. It's not about the big picture. It's about the little picture. It's about Her.

And I rise to my feet.

Sorry, skullbuddy. Maybe next time.